One of those days.

I awoke feeling like hell. The past few days I've been suspecting that I might be on the way to one of those horrid illness weeks, and I guess this is it. I didn't go to uni. In fact, I stayed home and indulged in the Hunger Games World Premiere livestream and it was wonderful. Honestly, wonderful. Seeing the "tributes" be interviewed in their stunning gowns and suits was just so much fun. They're such a bright, well spoken cast in general, and I'm so excited for this movie's success. Reviews from critics are already mostly positive, and it seems even the most hard to please of critic is in shock at the calibre of the film. So. Excited.

Here's some of my favourite pictures of the night, aren't they just the most beautiful cast? (Josh Hutcherson + Jennifer Lawrence, Amandla Stenberg, Isabelle Fuhrman, Leven Rambin + Dayo Okeniyi + Jacqueline Emerson.) 

Other than that, how am I? I don't know. I honestly don't know. I feel constantly panicky and insecure, that much I can tell you. I feel like the moment I turned eighteen there was driven this enormous wedge between my family and myself, and I knew it was time to embrace independence. But I can't. I still crave that interdependence, still crave that assurance from my mother she'll make sure it's okay. Still can't go to the doctors, or make all of the phone calls on my own. And I am in this horrifying place of uncertainty where all I need is the comfort of another's support.

Too bad those that are nearby are unwilling, and those who are willing are far, far away.

Growing up is overrated, I can tell you that much. So is tertiary education. I miss High School. You have no idea how much you are spoon fed until you're gone. Suddenly a 1500 word essay seems a breeze because it doesn't require referencing. So cling to your childhood, if you still have it. And if you don't...well, take comfort in the fact you're not alone.

I know I'm still young, but I feel so pressured to be old.

That's all for today. An entry of THG and no sense at all. Perhaps I will write again when things are better, because no one likes blogs like these, do they?